DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with “the girls”.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed, Perplexed

THE WATER BALL

A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass exactly the way the pros do it.

The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the water.

Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other “average” golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.

Recently he went to Sawgrass to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer.

However, before he could hit the ball, a powerful voice from above seemed to be booming out from the clouds, saying:

“Wait! Replace that old ball with a brand new one.”

The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again:

“Wait. Step back. Take a practice swing.”

So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this heavenly force was going to make his dream come true.

The voice boomed out again:

“Take another practice swing.”

Dutifully, he did. He stopped expectantly and waited …

A long silence followed …

Then the voice again:

“Use the old ball.”

Club Days

Sundays 9:30 tee off

Wednesday Vets 9:30 tee off

Friday 9 Holers 9:30 tee off